


trapped in the riptide, there's no escaping

by messagetoman



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Infidelity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-12
Updated: 2013-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-29 04:46:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1001062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/messagetoman/pseuds/messagetoman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"So he had to live with the fact that the way Niall felt for Harry, Harry also felt for Zayn."</p>
            </blockquote>





	trapped in the riptide, there's no escaping

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this in a rush on my phone just because I needed to write something to distract me from everything. 
> 
> First time writing narry that isn't smut...don't know how I feel about it all just yet. 
> 
> Hope you like. And if there is mistakes (which I'm 200% sure there is) I'm sorry. I wrote this on my phone because my laptop is screwed.

There wasn't anything Niall could do.  
It had been this way from the start, and Harry had warned him. He had told him from the start that it would be like this.   
But Niall had thought differently. He had ignored everything Harry had told him. Because Niall thought he could change Harry. That he could make Harry forget his old ways and finally be the person that was ENOUGH for Harry.   
But Harry, he wanted the whole world, and nothing or no one could ever change that.  
*  
"I don't want to eat it." Niall spoke through his tightly closed lips to ensure that Harry couldn't feed him any of the vile looking food.   
"Trust me! It's nice, it'll be worth it!" Harry persisted.   
"It doesn't fucking look nice!" Niall shot back, determined not to eat it.   
"Don't you trust me?" Harry retorted, his tone dripping with hurt as an attempt to allure Niall.   
It took all of Niall's strength to maintain a composed manner and not succumb to Harry and his wishes. "Babe, it's not that. It's just the fact that, that meat doesn't even look like actual meat. I don't know where you even got that from."   
Harry walks over to where Niall is seated on his living room couch and sits on his lap, straddling him.   
Niall can feel his heart quicken with Harry's ever single movement. His deep burning for Harry only intensifying. Harry places a soft kiss on his neck, "you know you want it." He speaks before placing another kiss on Niall's neck, making sure he nibbles on the skin before he raises his head.   
A small moan, despite Niall's best efforts, escapees his lips.   
Now Harry is nibbling on his ear. "I'm feeling generous tonight. So you have two choices." He whispers into Niall's ear seductively, tormenting the blonde beneath him. "Join me for dinner, or take my mind off the food and let's do something fun."   
Blue eyes meet green, and now the two are staring at one another, lust burning in both of their eyes.   
"I know exactly how to take your mind off of dinner." Niall squeezes in before his lips desperately attack Harry's.   
Their kiss is strong, full of longing, fingers intertwined in hair, stirring hips and subtle moans. Harry takes advantage of his position sitting on Niall and slowly begins to dominate the kiss and Niall without any hesitation let's Harry lead.   
They stay in the same position kissing for what seemed like eternity, but was still too short for Niall's liking when the phone call came. Niall felt the vibrations of Harry's mobile phone against his thigh. Slowly, Harry pulls their lips away his eyes glistening with joy at the person who is calling before he even checks who it is.   
Niall already knows as well. Because it's always the same person, it's always Zayn.   
Harry gives Niall a quick peck on the lips in a form of an apology and Niall just sits on the coach, containing his anger and hurt.   
"Hello." Harry talks into the phone, his lips formed into a smile.   
Niall can just make out what Zayn's saying.   
"Hey babe. I've missed you." A pain shots through Niall as he hears Zayn and watches Harry's checks turn the slight shade of red he loves. And then Niall is more hurt because he's not the one making Harry blush. "By the way, is it alright if I crash at yours tonight?"   
Niall's eyes shoot up at Harry's, desperately wanting him to say "no" because he and Harry were about to do something "fun". Harry catches Niall's denying eyes and hesitates momentarily. "Um... Tonight? Yea sure." Harry mouths a 'sorry' to Niall and soon returns his attention back to the phone call, all the while still sitting on Niall.   
Niall feels trapped. He want to scream, but he can't. He even wants to cry or push Harry or just do something to show how hurt he is but Niall, he does nothing. Because he's tried all those things before and nothing has worked. Not when it comes to Zayn. 

**  
He had always known that Zayn was special to Harry, but Niall only thought that was because Zayn was Harry's best friend. He didn't expect it to be anything more than that.   
But when he went past Harry's house to surprise his boyfriend, he found out that they were a whole lot more than just best friends.   
"You're cheating on me?" Niall asked, his body still, his thoughts all halted apart from his scanning eyes absorbing the scene unfolding out before him. Harry kissing Zayn.   
Harry's immediately at Niall's side and Zayn gets up to leave the apartment without a word to either Harry or Niall. And still Niall hasn't said anything else or even moved from his spot.   
"Babe, I'm sorry. This isn't what it looks like! Please, please don't be upset! I'm sorry." Harry says to him.   
And Niall is still frozen. He manages a small "why?"  
And Harry has to look away, not being able to stand having hurt Niall like this. "Because... Because this is the way it's always has been. Me and Zayn, we've always had this."   
Then Niall reacts. His body jerking towards Harry's, making Harry face him. "What? So this has been happening for our whole entire relationship?" Niall's voice is loud, too loud for the small apartment.   
"Look I'm sorry but I can't change it. Niall I care for you so much, but I also care for Zayn. You have to realise this isn't easy for me. And I'm so sorry I'm a lousy boyfriend and I hate that you're upset with me because I never want to hurt you. So if you're ready to end it here, then I completely understand. I deserve it." Harry's eyes are genuinely full of anguish, clearly showing the truth of his words.   
"Yes you're a lousy fucking boyfriend! And a lousy person in fucking general! I can't believe you did this to me Harry, I can't fucking believe it." Niall's crying now and his voice is getting louder. "I gave you everything I had and this is how you repay me! He has to leave. You can't see him anymore."   
Harry's eyes change to raw fear at the idea of losing Zayn, only enraging Niall further. "Niall I can't do that. I'm telling you from now I'm so sorry but I can't change this. You can leave, and I'll understand but Zayn can't leave." Harry's voice is strong, but very low.   
"What do you mean?! You're the one that's cheating, you can't get to make the fucking calls. What, he's more important than I am? You'd rather lose me than him? Is that what you're saying?"   
"Niall I never said that but Zayn and I have been friends for as long as I can remember I can't exactly toss him aside!"  
"So you'll just continue to fuck him while we're together and I'm what? I'm suppose to just live with it?"   
"It's not like that! We don't "fuck" today was just something that happened. We got a little carried away and I'm sorry."   
"Harry I don't think you understand none of this is making it any better. I don't want to lose you but I'm so fucking hurt right now." And Niall starts to cry even more than before, this time the tears were shaking his body.   
Harry's comforting nature took over and he moved to his boyfriend's side and pulled him into a firm hug all the while whispering a mix of "I'm sorry" and "don't leave me". 

And what Niall had said was the truth. He had fallen hard for Harry Styles, so fucking hard and there was no turning away now. So he had to live with the fact that the way Niall felt for Harry, Harry also felt for Zayn. And it was like someone stabbing Niall right in the centre of his chest, and it took all of him to stay with Harry. But being with Harry and hurting like this was so much better than being without Harry.   
Because Niall had tried that, and it hadn't worked. 

**  
"No I can't deal with this anymore. I can't fucking do it Harry." Niall said as he pushed Harry away from his lips, causing their lips to separate.   
"What?" Harry's tone hurt.   
"I'm leaving you, I can't do it I've tried and I can't do it. So this, whatever the fuck we have, it's over." And Niall began to gather Harry's things that were scattered around his flat and aggressively pushed them to Harry.   
"Babe, calm down. What's happening, we were going so well. I don't understand why we have to end this." Harry said as he stood their dumbfounded holding an arms full of his things.   
"Because I push it to the back of my mind and it's all fine and dandy. But then something will happen and it all comes crushing on me and it fucking hurts. You don't seem to understand how much it hurts to know you want someone else as much as you want me. I don't want to share you. I just want you to love ME."  
"Niall, I don't know why you're not getting it. I don't know how many ways you want me to say it but I do love you. I love you so much and I give you so much more of myself then I give Zayn. Why can't you fucking get that? Me and Zayn aren't together, me and YOU are. I'm just there for him when he needs me, that's all it is."   
And Niall just stood there, tears welling up in his eyes because Harry had just told him he loved him. But Niall couldn't escape the thought, he loved Zayn as well. "No, you have to leave." His voice was low but stern, his gaze to the floor unable to look at Harry.   
"I won't leave because I know you and you don't want me to leave. And I don't want to either. Please Niall, please." Harry's tone full of anguish.  
"Harry I'm telling you that I want you to go. GO!" Niall mustered all his strength as he said it. His voice growing louder as the pain he felt because of Harry also grew.   
And Niall could see the tears in Harry's eyes. "Fine." And Harry left. His arms full with just a handful of his belongings.   
Once the door closed behind Harry Niall broke down. The tears, the anger, the hurt all escaping him as he sunk to the floor of his apartment and cried. 

Two weeks. Two weeks of messages from Harry, and phone calls that Niall had ignored and hadn't returned. Two weeks of Niall crying himself to sleep because despite his best efforts he still longed for Harry. And Niall hated himself for that.   
"He's no good for you." "You're better off without him." Niall kept reminding himself. But that wasn't the truth.  
At least when he was with Harry he was happy. Now without him, Niall was simply miserable. And all he kept thinking about was Harry telling him he loved him.   
So after two weeks he finally gave into his earning and called Harry.   
"Hey." Harry answered.   
"Hi." Niall replied a little unsure on what to say.   
"How are you?" Harry initiated the conversation obviously noticing Niall's struggles.   
"Shit. You?"   
"Same."  
The two both let out a sigh. "Harry I've missed you so much." Niall admitted.   
"I'm sorry for that. I didn't want you to be hurting over me. I don't deserve you anyway."  
"How can't I hurt over you though. You're perfect and you do deserve me and more. And I've tried not to but Harry I love you so much." Niall let out all his emotions because he thought the world of Harry and as much as he tried he couldn't help but feel that way.   
"I want you back. These two weeks have been fucking hell without you. Please take me back." Harry pleaded.   
"Of course I'll take you back. But Harry..."  
"Yes?"  
"Does this change ANYTHING?"  
Harry let out a sigh again. "You know it can't.


End file.
